23
Did I Lose or Win?
October 23rd, 2009
Last week at the Purple Trailblazers Gala, there were 1000+ people in audience, plus more watching via DeafNation’s webcast. Sitting in the audience were national leaders, such as Nancy Bloch, Alan Hurwitz, Ron Stern, Roz Rosen, and I’ll go as far as saying one of the trailblazers is a national leader: Dr. MJ Bienvenu. I was superbly humbled!
It was being recognized in front of all these people for my work that gave me confidence. I did not expect this gain but then again, I should have because I know my optimism. I found what good and positive that could be gained coming from the wonderful experience. I sincerely thank Purple for the springboard.
(See DeafNation video Re: Springboard. Time: 48:25)
In the meantime, Patti Durr e-mailed me on Thursday when I was in Washington D.C. then three days later, on Sunday, she announces her second boycott. I was in Washington D.C. the entire time! Is there anyone here who wouldn’t be peeved? I was. It was from push to shove.
She KNEW I was out of town. Yet Patti was writing in her blog that I hadn’t replied to her e-mail sent to me last Thursday. She made me look like I was not keeping my word or was not hurrying quickly enough. Did she exploit the fact that I was away from my computer during the trailblazer weekend to tell people I wasn’t replying to her e-mail? She knows I am a trailblazer. She congratulated me. She knew I was out of town. Confusing? Absolutely!
This is Patti’s second boycott against DeafVIDEO.TV and DeafRead. After the first one, she decided to return to DeafRead prematurely saying that we agreed to add tighter protection. I would have preferred to announce it, but I was fine with it – she seemed eager to announce it and get started with blogging on DeafRead. Or was she pressuring me? Making it known to the world so that if I didn’t follow through, I would be made the fool. Maybe it wasn’t simple pressure, but subtly twisting my arm?? Coercion?
Now, I would like for you to temporarily exit the “analyze-the-details” mode, and zoom out and look at the big picture. Audism does not exist at DeafRead. Patti’s rushing, pressuring, twisting my arm and boycotting DeafRead for something THAT DOES NOT EXIST. She is grappling at nothing. Is this all for nothing?!
I have Purple to thank. I could not thank them enough. I also thank Patti. Coupled with Patti’s incident and Purple’s springboard made me realize I could no longer be a sitting duck. It was not who I was. She made me frustrated, and my confidence enabled me to take a stand. Over the years, it’s been a challenge balancing my role as a personal blogger and managing two sites. Gradually, I blogged and vlogged less and less about my opinion, because people refused to understand, believe, or allow me to wear two hats simultaneously. With the new-found confidence, I see what it really is.
Running both sites provides me a bird’s view of everything. I don’t know everything, but as you know, I blogged about certain truths and as a result, a vlogger came out and said I suffered from “ME mentality”. Never mind recently Aidan said she doesn’t attack individuals (Sept 29).
I want you to analyze why Aidan made the vlog. She was trying to shut me up. Why? My post, “Audism was just a cover“. Thus far, it hasn’t been disputed. It’s difficult to dispute the truth. I have sent some people scrambling and instead of disputing with facts, they are making vlogs trying to label me with a certain “mentality” and practicing “red herring”. All are designed to shut me up. Why did they not instead attempt to rebut my posts (“attack the ideas”)? First, it’s indisputable, and second, they are afraid of what more I could say. So it’s just better to try to shut me up once for all.
As aforementioned, people were having trouble separating my roles, (personal blog vs moderator). This is a pattern. Everything points to shutting me, them or anyone up. This has not happened only toward me. It’s been practiced toward other moderators. Toward other bloggers and vloggers. My bird eyes sees all this. With my eyes fully open now, I say nothing will shut me up. Try your hardest, but I will not. Even will I not abstain from blogging about incidents where people are tried to be shut up.
While I didn’t win the Trailblazer of the Year, I won something far bigger. The restoration of my true self and right to express. With Purple’s springboard and the new-found liberation, I can jump even higher!
AND – I ask that YOU join me in jumping higher! I will be soon announcing news on how we all can jump higher–together. I assure you, it will be a EASY jump to make. Your jump will be a win for a better deaf community–I promise you.
MishkaZena | October 23rd, 2009 @ 10:46 am
*Handwaves*
Linda Slovick | October 23rd, 2009 @ 10:50 am
I disputed that you had facts in the comments of that blog.
I am still waiting to see facts, but you seem to be talking yourself into more and more certainty that you KNOW the motives of people who aren’t responding to you.
One reason they might not be responding to you is that they are no longer here to listen to you, so communication has already broken down.
I am looking forward to seeing your next jump. Technically, your work has been on the cutting edge of the online deaf communication world, but I think you may need to rethink the social advice you are now listening to.
$0.02
tayler | October 23rd, 2009 @ 10:59 am
The evidence we discussed is related to Rachel’s blog.
Where did I say they weren’t responding? It’s the opposite. They responded by the vlog in which Aidan tried to shut me up. They responded and it was the wrong one. I certainly know they are listening, otherwise she wouldn’t have responded, right?
Deaf Veiwer | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:17 am
You are not alone. Many feels same way. Here is one vlog: http://www.deafvideo.tv/62001
Linda Slovick | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:22 am
WOW! Aidan is ONE person! She may or may not share opinions with “the Deafhood camp” (Deaf Pundit’s term), Ella’s followers, Patti Durr’s supporters, or whatever other designation you are using to describe an amorphous group of people who MAY OR MAY NOT be communicating regularly They are partially blinded by the lack of ability to contact using DR/DVTV too, right? How do you know which or how many of these folks even have the same opinions.
Even if people ARE communicating now, there will be more distortion between each link than before, when there was a technically-provided link… Miscommunications seem to me likely to harden everybody’s stances, especially since the status quo has now splintered the social network into multiple smaller hubs… Maybe this is inevitable by Network Theory, or maybe there is some social remedy… As you can probably see, I’m always struggling with the social part, but DO think I can see a trend here that you MIGHT be able to help reverse even yet…
What I’m seeing is at least your opinion hardening BECAUSE of the continued lack of a recognizable response from “them” (whoever “they” are to you). I’m thinking that it is a pretty safe bet that the hardening is increasing on the other side as well, though this is just because I see no reason for the dynamic to be any different there than it is here…
I have my own opinion about how things got so skewed, but am honestly afraid to express it here.
That alone should tell you SOMETHING about what’s screwed up with the current status quo in Deaf Social Networking. Add to it that I am not the only one who feels this pressure!
Whether it can be identified as “audism” or whether the oppression takes another form, CAN still be discussed.
What is overwhelmingly evident here is that people are leaving, people are afraid, and you are quibbling over the name of that fear.
-$0.02 (negative, because I know this is harsh advice, won’t feel like it is worth a positive amount yet)
Karen Mayes | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:23 am
Have a goiod day…
We
tayler | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:31 am
Quibble? Wow. I am telling the truth in the face of fear. Interesting how you’re seeing this.
People go. They come back. Right now, they are coming back.
A Deaf Pundit | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:32 am
*joins MishkaZena in handwaving*
Beautifully said, Tayler. It’s a honor to know you.
White Ghost | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:42 am
Ha, Ha, Ha!
They tried to fold your arms! I KNEW Audism does NOT exist since day one in everywhere, not just for Deafread and DVTV.
Per DVTV under BlueGlowAngel’s (?) vlog, you mentioned the Audism is form of the harassment. I realize that I agree with you. Whenever they *disagree* with me, they would have insulted and said to me, “oh, your’e an audist!” In conclusion, that’s the form of harassment! I did not think of that.
I loved Barry’s blog, “Hey, Aidan” I thought it was fab-u-l-ous!
Shutting you up wouldn’t work that way as well. Despite on the shut-us-up, we are all winners.
(You posted on October 23, 10:59 AM in the comment)Is your next jump going to reveal the evidence of Rachel’s blog? Tsk, tsk, tsk! I never have posted Aidan’s blog for almost two years. Yay! I agree it was the opposite. I’d cringe….I’ll fist-smack you!
You, of course, were selected for the Purple’s ten trailblazers. You were the winner. For it’s worth is that you were recognized. Congrats!
Linda Slovick | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:43 am
> People go. They come back. Right now, they are coming back.
Well THAT’s good to see. Glad things are working out better for you now!
YOUR fear is in that same mix, but you’ve decided it’s coming from outside your group.
Hope things get better for the rest of us soson!
Your way, “their” way, or anybody else’s!
A Deaf Pundit | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:48 am
Linda,
Can you please point out any erroneous facts in Tayler’s blog post?
No?
Then I have to wonder why you are upset. Is it because Tayler and others like him refuse to tolerate the bullying from Aidan, Ridor and so many others?
Because make no mistake about it, Linda. What they are doing is bullying. And by defending them, you are condoning their bullying.
Simple as that.
MishkaZena | October 23rd, 2009 @ 11:49 am
Linda, they are not alone. Others have left in fear long before the walk out due to the constant infighting between the various camps. A lot of people have been harmed, not just those who adhere to Bay Area Deafhood philosophy.
That’s the reason Tayler added the other features like block and hide, so b/vloggers and commenters can discuss ideas without disruptions from certain people. To this day, audism remains poorly defined, due to people’s different definitions. I believe audism does exist, but some Deaf people don’t. Whether we agree with them or not, they are entitled to their opinions. We cannot control how Deaf people think and we shouldn’t be in the position to dictate how they should think. Only they can decide for themselves.
tayler | October 23rd, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
Guys, let’s stay on subject. Please.
Inspired | October 23rd, 2009 @ 12:33 pm
Inspiring post! THanks Tayler.
Anne Marie | October 23rd, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
Please you have no need to try to restore yourself, you always do your best and you always have respect from plenty.
“hand waves here too”
Carrie Gellibrand | October 23rd, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
Way to go, Tayler!! *handwaves*
theHolism | October 23rd, 2009 @ 5:20 pm
Liked Anne Marie’s comment.
In my book as an entrepreneur, you won. Let me tell you why. I understand the value of good publicity and I can tell you that it was a very positive one, which is a boon. It really is. It will do wonders for you personally as well as for Deafread and DVTV family.
Waving my hands as I just learned you were moving to D.C. area. It’s huge loss for the West but a huge gain for the East.
Fly high and continue to dare to dream the way you’ve done it.
Barry
Karen Mayes | October 24th, 2009 @ 3:12 am
Yes… I tend to view people as winners. Tayler, you have constantly showed your attitide as a do’er, willing to listen, willing to stick to your guns, etc. So you are a winner. In fact, in my eyes, people are winners… including Ella as well even though I don’t always agree with her. It’s a matter of attitude and a matter of approach to life’s problems in general. I really don’t think there are any losers in DR and DVTV
)
JD | October 24th, 2009 @ 3:53 am
Dr. Bienvenu and Ella Mae Lentz are strong activists against audism and they are picked by the Purple people. Dr. Bienvenu and Ella Mae Lentz both are against the fact that you allow audism and dysconsious audism on DVTV and Deafread. I hope you will take Dr. Bienvenu’s classes and turn DVTV and Deafread for better.
tayler | October 24th, 2009 @ 7:29 am
JD, be sure to read my post “Audism was just a cover“. Audism isn’t allowed at DVTV. YouTube will not filter their videos based on Audism. You are left to use your discretion, along with the block feature – which DVTV also offers.
JD | October 24th, 2009 @ 8:00 am
Ask Dr Bienvenu to read your post ” Audism was just a cover”. Where on your Deafread or DVTV did it say audism is not allowed?
You sure sound like a broken record. Nobody is interested in your little hide and block features. Hope you will find your people in DC. California does not need you. Californians are way more progressive, probably too progressive for your taste. Bye bye.
tayler | October 24th, 2009 @ 10:52 am
JD, I show where I say Audism is not allowed in “Audism was just a cover”. How about asking yourself to read it? If you read it the first time, I wouldn’t sound like a broken record.
LOL. I was chosen as one of the trailblazers because I am progressive. My websites show anywhere and everywhere, so it does not matter where I am. You are being silly and clutching at straws.
If you’re a Californian, what is it that you’ve done that’s progressive?
HarleyLady57 | October 24th, 2009 @ 6:07 pm
Congraulations Taylor! For being at one of the Trailblazer by the Purple! I do not vote you, but you started this business to bring deaf community together through vlogs/blogs from your own creation. That matters the most.
California lost you, East gained by your presence and I live in MD not far from Silver Spring and look forward to bump into you around town! I look forward to meet you in person someday.
I admire you for your hard work, even we do disagree at times, very importantly that we respect one’s decision, choices, and move on.
Your website has bought alot of deaf and hard of hearing people into this vlog/blog world and I have made new friends from your site. Thank you for bringing deaf community together regardless the outcome and look up into STARS and go higher!
Deb